after a while

I think I know what would be worst about being a nurse treating the many wounded. It wouldn't be the excessive gore, the pained faces, or the pressure that all these people need you. It would be the sounds they make; the groans under their breath, the high shrills from acute pain, hearing hard people weep.

I was woken up early this morning to my mom screaming out after me. I jolted awake hearing her loud shrieking, now I know why they say that screams can be blood curdling. I found her on the floor after she had fallen directly on her shoulder that was just operated on. The worst part was watching her flail on the floor and hearing her tell me I couldn't help her up. I've never heard her make those kinds of screams before, it was a mix of cries and screams and yelps...

She got up by herself not knowing any other way without pulling something. I couldn't even help her up and had to watch her waddle lying on her side and claw the couch to pull herself up. She had me check for bleeding, there was only a little. I did my best to keep her calm, she started hyperventalating.

I just have been thinking about it all day, and I can't detach from it. Shook me up a little.