Firstly, I am listening to Chickenman. The images the title insinuates has little to do with the song. Good stuff but a little experiemental.
I know if a black cat crosses your path, beware, your best luck may not follow or so the superstition goes. Now what do you do if a black CHICKEN crosses your path? What if now, not only a black chicken crosses you, but a white chicken follows like some freaky ying yang shindig? As if this duo isn't weird enough imagine the roaming fowl crossing the road. They were like racing chickens or something, white won.
Now I know that I did hear a chicken the other day when Lindsey and I were hooking up the volleyball net. I heard the neighborhood tykes screaming "GET the CHICKEN, Get him!" "Cabawk Bacaw bacaw bacaaaaaaaaaw! Balk balk baulkcaw!!!" All of them sounded like junior agents for Colonel Sanders. Holy crap.
Derek and Lindsey also go around the house singing and miswording the song 'Malchik gay' as My Chicken.
And then I play zelda and the bird fiends surround me in Hitchcock patterns.
Is this a sign?
Friday, September 29, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Black Thumb );(
" oh i'm not worried, remember.
it's not about whether or not i think i'm making sense, it's a matter of "is that what i meant to say?". "
Just a little snippet from a convo with my ol pal Katie. Good words to keep in mind.
It's not really advice I think of in daily life, just a few choice situations where i seem to give off a split image of myself.
On another offshoot... I'm far from expectations. I know that already. I won't take any normal earning, nor some frivilous extraordinary title. Theres just less and less to prove.
Yes, Ms. DiFranco, 'everyone is an f*king Napoleon.' Excuse the language but the statement is classic.
I forgot how much I love long bus rides. I love being amongst unknown faces, I peek around at all the expressions people have at their faces. Some grumble down at their watches, others stare out the window. A lot of people are lost in their own heads when they are parked in their blue cushioned bus seats. It's interesting. Sometimes I think I am able to pick out a few hippiesque people like me that could drive if they chose, but are into alternative transportation methods. My brother, Derek, is urging me to make a collection of all the odd people I see on UTA. I sketch people occasionally, usually people who fall asleep in the front. It just tickles him.
On a sidenote I am tearing out my hair trying to reformat my blog. I've already composed a new design for it, but making the images and backgrounds is the easy part. Sheesh. Xanga was very easy to crack with a basic feel for html. Blogger uses xml for its templates which is a bit tricker to overlap, not really knowing what I'm doing.
Oui, the things I think about at night. Night, when there's nothing left to do than just soak in the silence and think. Laughable, private thoughts fill my mind, just like stupid little pennies in a city park fountain. Why did Icarus fly so far, so hard? *laughs* It's not just motor fuel that's overpriced these days. I'm sure Pandora would love to know why we all ask for more than we're ready to get.
Just the things I tell myself these days.
it's not about whether or not i think i'm making sense, it's a matter of "is that what i meant to say?". "
Just a little snippet from a convo with my ol pal Katie. Good words to keep in mind.
It's not really advice I think of in daily life, just a few choice situations where i seem to give off a split image of myself.
On another offshoot... I'm far from expectations. I know that already. I won't take any normal earning, nor some frivilous extraordinary title. Theres just less and less to prove.
Yes, Ms. DiFranco, 'everyone is an f*king Napoleon.' Excuse the language but the statement is classic.
I forgot how much I love long bus rides. I love being amongst unknown faces, I peek around at all the expressions people have at their faces. Some grumble down at their watches, others stare out the window. A lot of people are lost in their own heads when they are parked in their blue cushioned bus seats. It's interesting. Sometimes I think I am able to pick out a few hippiesque people like me that could drive if they chose, but are into alternative transportation methods. My brother, Derek, is urging me to make a collection of all the odd people I see on UTA. I sketch people occasionally, usually people who fall asleep in the front. It just tickles him.
On a sidenote I am tearing out my hair trying to reformat my blog. I've already composed a new design for it, but making the images and backgrounds is the easy part. Sheesh. Xanga was very easy to crack with a basic feel for html. Blogger uses xml for its templates which is a bit tricker to overlap, not really knowing what I'm doing.
Oui, the things I think about at night. Night, when there's nothing left to do than just soak in the silence and think. Laughable, private thoughts fill my mind, just like stupid little pennies in a city park fountain. Why did Icarus fly so far, so hard? *laughs* It's not just motor fuel that's overpriced these days. I'm sure Pandora would love to know why we all ask for more than we're ready to get.
Just the things I tell myself these days.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
New Favourite
This is such a beautiful song... Even better when heard.
Everything in it's own Time
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
all around the table the white haired men have gathered
spilling their sons' blood like table wine
remember everything i told you
everything in its own time
the music whispers you in urgency
hold fast to that languageless connection
a thread of known that was unknown and unseen seen
dangling from inside the fifth direction
boys around the table are mapping out their strategies
kings all of mountains one day dust
a lesson learned a loving god and things in their own time
in nothing more do i trust
we own nothing
nothing is ours
not even love so fierce it burns like baby stars
but this poverty is our greatest gift
the weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift
remember everything i told you
keep it in your heart like a stone
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
everything in its own time
everything in its own time
-Indigo Girls
Everything in it's own Time
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
all around the table the white haired men have gathered
spilling their sons' blood like table wine
remember everything i told you
everything in its own time
the music whispers you in urgency
hold fast to that languageless connection
a thread of known that was unknown and unseen seen
dangling from inside the fifth direction
boys around the table are mapping out their strategies
kings all of mountains one day dust
a lesson learned a loving god and things in their own time
in nothing more do i trust
we own nothing
nothing is ours
not even love so fierce it burns like baby stars
but this poverty is our greatest gift
the weightlessness of us as things around begin to shift
remember everything i told you
keep it in your heart like a stone
and when the winds have blown things round and back again
what was once your pain will be your home
everything in its own time
everything in its own time
-Indigo Girls
lolli sculptures
So okay there were a lot of dum dum suckers floating around the house. (No really like floating like the fuzzy sparkles in the Kokiri Forest) When I opened it I was like -- odd! Whooah -you look like a turtle! Look at it!!! It's even fluked being a real dum dum. Drooping and bent, I mean wow, maybe it's just a big frown.
Okay my brain, is dying. That usually means its just asking for a smidgeon of sleep. If not I'd be so posting about my awesome cool day. Sorry its late but soo everything is amusing.XD. Alas. Tiredness, I have a strict bedtime of 2 am.
Friday, September 22, 2006
"You looked better on myspace"
Whha---
Is Sarah McLachlan releasing a new album? I thought she was done, wanted to raise her kid and all. It will be an album of Christmas carols, so like for the first time in all of history we'll be able to hear every track on a newly released album on the radio within its release month. Cool though, though I am not an active seeker of Christmas music.
Let's tackle Halloween first! I WANNA MAKE A JACKOLANTERN!!!!!!
The title is from a tee shirt which I find amusing. ※
I think my big thing against myspace is it is completely engineered around the teenaged mind. All the commercial ads cluttered among the margins, gimmie a break. There is such a large emphasis on user photos, and advertising the photo and preferences to the point where it seems more and more like some online dating hotspot than a blogging community. Half the pictures of the girls on my space are ones where they try to look at the camera as with as sexy a look as they can come up.
It completely caiters to the teenage mind, where what mostly matters is the bands you like, the people you hang with, favorite color, pet peeves etc is splattered all over your front user page. Such things are common in profiles, but then again profiles will cover a little more than that, or a little less, the difference is in the coverage of the interests.
Interests are key elements to illustrating a profile, but when pictures of those interests such as sports team emblems, banners for television shows and movies, not album work but portraits of favorite bands COMPLETELY take over the page with JPEG space with little text at all? It's overcrowded with all these glorified media influences that say little about who the person is (except for music) and it all quickly becomes cliche. It completely enshrines these media influences, and favorites and piss offs making everything so overblown. Sheesh. Not to mention paying homage to the teen mindset of clan associations, who I am hanging round with these days (cause company *hem* groups, say(s) so much about a person, whatever) a pretty sizeable corner to keep all your friends on your list in.
Elements of a my space profile
1- Personal Photo. This is big stuff. Smile big, you never know who is checking you out.
2- third party Interests and commercial Interests consuming your page. these things rock, "johnny dep is the best ever and I love abercrombie and fitch"
3- Extensive photos and images to represent Interests (instead of words God forbid we ever use them to explain why we are drawn to what we are drawn to)
4- Ads for teen appealing media, and merchandise - tv Shows, music, ex" Jackass epidsodes, name brands etc.
5- League of Friends- Always always always reserve a little shrine to say hey these peeps are kewl and they think I'm kewl so yeah.
Leave the rest of the page for your turn ons.
I will agree that this is a reliable channel for communication purposes. While I have met some who have used it purely for open discussion, it seems more and more like a chaotic mosh pit where all the little teenie bopper warlords have a good yak all about themselves (but more about the thinks they like). ( I HATE YOU I HATE THE BANDS YOU LIKE!!! starts to make sense in this light, no?) I could keep in touch with many a friend via my space if I chose to. I just don't like what myspace attempts to target with its features, and what it is commonly used for. And for all those people hounding me to join it's not all that jazzed up in my eyes.
No no no, I shalt not join.
Is Sarah McLachlan releasing a new album? I thought she was done, wanted to raise her kid and all. It will be an album of Christmas carols, so like for the first time in all of history we'll be able to hear every track on a newly released album on the radio within its release month. Cool though, though I am not an active seeker of Christmas music.
Let's tackle Halloween first! I WANNA MAKE A JACKOLANTERN!!!!!!
The title is from a tee shirt which I find amusing. ※
I think my big thing against myspace is it is completely engineered around the teenaged mind. All the commercial ads cluttered among the margins, gimmie a break. There is such a large emphasis on user photos, and advertising the photo and preferences to the point where it seems more and more like some online dating hotspot than a blogging community. Half the pictures of the girls on my space are ones where they try to look at the camera as with as sexy a look as they can come up.
It completely caiters to the teenage mind, where what mostly matters is the bands you like, the people you hang with, favorite color, pet peeves etc is splattered all over your front user page. Such things are common in profiles, but then again profiles will cover a little more than that, or a little less, the difference is in the coverage of the interests.
Interests are key elements to illustrating a profile, but when pictures of those interests such as sports team emblems, banners for television shows and movies, not album work but portraits of favorite bands COMPLETELY take over the page with JPEG space with little text at all? It's overcrowded with all these glorified media influences that say little about who the person is (except for music) and it all quickly becomes cliche. It completely enshrines these media influences, and favorites and piss offs making everything so overblown. Sheesh. Not to mention paying homage to the teen mindset of clan associations, who I am hanging round with these days (cause company *hem* groups, say(s) so much about a person, whatever) a pretty sizeable corner to keep all your friends on your list in.
Elements of a my space profile
1- Personal Photo. This is big stuff. Smile big, you never know who is checking you out.
2- third party Interests and commercial Interests consuming your page. these things rock, "johnny dep is the best ever and I love abercrombie and fitch"
3- Extensive photos and images to represent Interests (instead of words God forbid we ever use them to explain why we are drawn to what we are drawn to)
4- Ads for teen appealing media, and merchandise - tv Shows, music, ex" Jackass epidsodes, name brands etc.
5- League of Friends- Always always always reserve a little shrine to say hey these peeps are kewl and they think I'm kewl so yeah.
Leave the rest of the page for your turn ons.
I will agree that this is a reliable channel for communication purposes. While I have met some who have used it purely for open discussion, it seems more and more like a chaotic mosh pit where all the little teenie bopper warlords have a good yak all about themselves (but more about the thinks they like). ( I HATE YOU I HATE THE BANDS YOU LIKE!!! starts to make sense in this light, no?) I could keep in touch with many a friend via my space if I chose to. I just don't like what myspace attempts to target with its features, and what it is commonly used for. And for all those people hounding me to join it's not all that jazzed up in my eyes.
No no no, I shalt not join.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
"Time to check your level of responsibility?"
This is a clipping out of the morning paper today. I like to occasionally gut something out of the middle that is everyday life oriented. It's fun.
These are some of the things I HAVEN'T done recently.
1.Returned "Search and Destroy" by Dean Hughes to the library.
2.Responded to e-mails from several good friends, including Linda in Ohio an Patty in Indiana. (I'm sorry you guys! I promise I'll write back!)
3. Made arrangements for a groom's dinner (can you believe it? ANOTHER son is getting married!) , even though the wedding is coming up pretty soon.
4. Paid a bill to my favorite florist, Every Blooming Thing, for flowers I sent in July.
5. Returned a phone call to Glenn at BYU. (Glenn! Dude! My husband wants me to tell you that he really did give e your message. It's not HIS fault that I haven't called back in the last two weeks.)
6. Washed my son's football uniform. (i've just been burning scented candles in his bedroom instead.)
These are some of the things that I HAVE done recently.
1. Found a parking ticket on my windshield because the meter was expired, to which I can only say, OF COURSE THE METER WAS EXPIRED. I never put change in the meter to begin with.
2. Forgot Emma's birthday even though she's pretty much the daughter I never had, which is apparently why God never sent me girls. He knew I'd just forget their birthdays and then they;d be all like "our mother is so lame."
3.Lost the family parrot. After 12 years of doing penguin-esque belly flops off the top of his cage, our African gray finally discovered that his wings work. Yea! That's the good news! The bad news is that he was outside on the deck when he figured things out. The other bad news is that I was the one who left him out there.
Anyway, as you can see, it's been an eventful few weeks in a nonproductive kind of way. In fact, I was sort of startled this morning when I made up these lists, because, actually, I think of myself as a highly responsible person. Hello. My girlfriend Gigi Ballif and I were members of the Color Guard in the sixth grade, which, AS EVERYBODY IN AMERICA KNOWS, they only let highly responsible kinds do. The last thing you wan ti n the Color Guard are a bunch of non-responsible six-graders who don't show up or forget their hats or wear their badges upside down or drop the flag on the ground all day long.
Looking at my lists, however, makes me wonder if it's time to do an update so that self-image matches the reality at hand. Is it possible I'm not responsible any more? Do I need to get a paper route to teach myself some responsibility again?
Is it possible I've turned into that guy who still wears double-knit slacks with a white belt because they looked good on him, and also on Joe Namath, in 1974, and he thinks they look good on him still? (ANSWER : No. I'm not a guy. And I don't have a pair of double-knit slacks.)
All of us occasionally out to do a self-awareness exercise. Do my actions say I am who I think I am? Am I REALLY (fill in the blank)?
It can't hurt, right?
(Unless, of course, you think you're a lost cause.)
(Which you are probably not.)
(Even if the teachers didn't choose YOU to be in the Color Guard in the sixth grade.)
-Ann Cannon
These are some of the things I HAVEN'T done recently.
1.Returned "Search and Destroy" by Dean Hughes to the library.
2.Responded to e-mails from several good friends, including Linda in Ohio an Patty in Indiana. (I'm sorry you guys! I promise I'll write back!)
3. Made arrangements for a groom's dinner (can you believe it? ANOTHER son is getting married!) , even though the wedding is coming up pretty soon.
4. Paid a bill to my favorite florist, Every Blooming Thing, for flowers I sent in July.
5. Returned a phone call to Glenn at BYU. (Glenn! Dude! My husband wants me to tell you that he really did give e your message. It's not HIS fault that I haven't called back in the last two weeks.)
6. Washed my son's football uniform. (i've just been burning scented candles in his bedroom instead.)
These are some of the things that I HAVE done recently.
1. Found a parking ticket on my windshield because the meter was expired, to which I can only say, OF COURSE THE METER WAS EXPIRED. I never put change in the meter to begin with.
2. Forgot Emma's birthday even though she's pretty much the daughter I never had, which is apparently why God never sent me girls. He knew I'd just forget their birthdays and then they;d be all like "our mother is so lame."
3.Lost the family parrot. After 12 years of doing penguin-esque belly flops off the top of his cage, our African gray finally discovered that his wings work. Yea! That's the good news! The bad news is that he was outside on the deck when he figured things out. The other bad news is that I was the one who left him out there.
Anyway, as you can see, it's been an eventful few weeks in a nonproductive kind of way. In fact, I was sort of startled this morning when I made up these lists, because, actually, I think of myself as a highly responsible person. Hello. My girlfriend Gigi Ballif and I were members of the Color Guard in the sixth grade, which, AS EVERYBODY IN AMERICA KNOWS, they only let highly responsible kinds do. The last thing you wan ti n the Color Guard are a bunch of non-responsible six-graders who don't show up or forget their hats or wear their badges upside down or drop the flag on the ground all day long.
Looking at my lists, however, makes me wonder if it's time to do an update so that self-image matches the reality at hand. Is it possible I'm not responsible any more? Do I need to get a paper route to teach myself some responsibility again?
Is it possible I've turned into that guy who still wears double-knit slacks with a white belt because they looked good on him, and also on Joe Namath, in 1974, and he thinks they look good on him still? (ANSWER : No. I'm not a guy. And I don't have a pair of double-knit slacks.)
All of us occasionally out to do a self-awareness exercise. Do my actions say I am who I think I am? Am I REALLY (fill in the blank)?
It can't hurt, right?
(Unless, of course, you think you're a lost cause.)
(Which you are probably not.)
(Even if the teachers didn't choose YOU to be in the Color Guard in the sixth grade.)
-Ann Cannon
Ugly Little Dreams
Frances keep your mouth shut dear
We don't want the neighbors 'round
With their ugly little schemes
That make the pretty world go 'round
And there's a place in it for every one of us
I'll keep the home fires burning
Only don't make a fuss
And if you're not impressed
With the wares life has to show
You can take them or leave them
They choose their own fare who say no
There's some ugly little dreams
For pretty girls to buy
It's enough to make you mad
But it's safer just to break down and cry
It's a battlefield Frances
You fight or concede
Victory to the enemy
Who call your strength insanity
What cahnce for such girls
How can we compete?
In a world that likes its women
Stupid and sweet
I bet you rue the day
The angels gave you your share
Of bright cornflower blue eyes
And golden hair
And there's a lot of ugly little dreams
For pretty girls to buy
It's enough to make you mad
But it's safer just to break down and cry
It's safer just to break down and cry
-Everything but the Girl
------------------
EBTG has been a band I've kept up with over the years. What created the interest was their dynamic sound, investment in many instruments, and the leads powerful vocals. What kept the interest was what the lyrics touched on - ethics and rights within relationships, political commentary, and largely on the human experience.
Looking information up on EBTG, I ran into their focuses on their debut album which was pretty much what I described above.
Ugly little dreams is about those who were shocked and upset by women with too many ideas.
It's about Frances Farmer in particular. That struck interest -- who is she I asked and wikied it. What I found proved interesting... Frances in her youth won a writing contest in 1931, for her religiously controversial essay. Later when she was attending university won over another writing contest for a leftist newpaper. (which was probably moderate compared to these days) this won her a trip to go visit the Soviet Union which her family fiercely objected to.
Frances began an acting career in the big screen pictures. She was very unhappy with her career as she was only given 'pretty girl' and damsel like roles, instead of ones where she could find a creative niche with her talents. It was a time when movie studios were very controlling of their actors and actresses lives. As a result she clashed a lot with the buecracy within Paramount Studios refusing to mold.
I can't continue to depict her as a struggling artist and put her up as a complete martyr of her times. The trouble she got in later was of her own accord, as she developed heavy drinking problems. Her little incident with the police was interesting though during war time when all lights were ordered for a black out period. She went rebeliously driving down the road with her brights on. Then there is breaking her make up artists jaw (I would have loved to have been present) . Yet her contrary views led "proffessionals" to diagnose her with bipolar disorder, for her seeking things outside of accepted culture.
I do like her story though and it winds down to a comment by Ray Bradbury. "a man runs when he sees anything of a mind in a woman." (rough quote, I have handicapped quoting skills as I am sure one of you can verify in other situations) Thankfully this quote doesn't ring so true anymore, almost minus certain communities where women are ordained to be baby cranking factories. Yet it did bring a smile to my face, it does sometimes touch home minus the gender references and added in particular family references.
"I bet you rue the day
The angels gave you your share
Of bright cornflower blue eyes
And golden hair"
is a very interesting couple of lines from the song, I think. It has something to say on what is expected of women when it comes to men and the crowds for that matter.
I've had many a friend who felt overwhelmed by trying to gain attentions of the opposite gender. Many friends who felt that her worth was contingent on her ability to be attractive, and to be worthwhile. To be charming and sucumbing to prevalent demands for a girl to be entertaining. Well dammit those things aren't just about being pleased or entertaining. I've seen too many girls who don't find enough esteem in themselves and become dependent on whatever kind of security a relation with a guy can give her. Though it's not just ungrounded and self insecured girls that cling to this.
However I feel the opposite is true. I feel there is an underculture of women who are obsessed with glamour, power and manipulation over partners. Yet they still cling to the demand to be a particular genre of charming and entertaining outside of standard (by standard I mean common things like courting flirting and means to relations and such, what I mean is the whole charming thing is getting overblown.)
Bottom line: we shouldn't be expected to be any more diplomatically and dynamically charming than what is natural, than what men are (not to say that men and the stake of natural are directly synonymous or opposing). It's not duty to be pretty attractive alpha vixens contrary to what pop culture is trying to tell us all. I'd love to see pop culture grow in insight for once...
And I could go on about how the teen to adult road is practically non existent and how we still have 37 year old men and women who are paranoid about their upkeep on trendiness, acting and wishing they could be as hip as they were when they were 18. Hey what about other things of worth? We just generating lifelong super hormone charged teenagers nowadays?
How cute. . .
Even in these modern times excessive prerequisites for a woman to even be considered as attractive are too heavy. Sorry we're not all about acting pretty, and believe me what a sad act it is. Sorry to say there is something more between the lines there. I realized a sad truth when joking around with my younger brother. "Derek, this is sooo sad, you could have a guy be really ugly, obese, or freakishly skinny, who is the funniest and fun person ever and he could get a lot of dates. But if you turn it around and it's a heavy girl, or a not so cute faced kind of girl and she's left with slim pickins. if not dying alone" "yup" and we both laughed.
Yet why is this true?
Watching a television makeover show I was taken aback by a couple. There was a well built man with what most women would claim as being handsome faced and a mousy faced bushy haired girl who wasn't very easy on the eyes as some would say. It was very odd to see this couple hand in hand. I was a little confused by the fact that I was confused. Yet it's not nearly that startling when you see a girl go with a guy that is far far from being the next runner up for male model of the year. I couldn't explain the confusion at first, but then I realized more and more that its a sick and unfair part of our culture.
I walked past as my dad was watching Miss Congeniality on t.v. (great movie !) one of the pagent officials stammered on to say "I've been fighting my whole career against people like you, feminists, intellectuals:: Ugly women!" Yes I appreciate the humor but this brings up the point again. They focus less on being pleasing creatures to men. In this case I am referencing ugly as being unattractive in manner or in appearance. This kind of ugly she probably means as women who don't choose to apply cosmetics as a daily routine. I see no immediate problem with makeup as I wear it and wear it for myself only but I really do give a salute to women who don't feel it's a necessity or a requirement. :)
Kudos to Ms. Farmer, especially in a time when it was much much worse and unequal.
Kudos to EBTG composed of two members - one female and one male who support this belief.
We don't want the neighbors 'round
With their ugly little schemes
That make the pretty world go 'round
And there's a place in it for every one of us
I'll keep the home fires burning
Only don't make a fuss
And if you're not impressed
With the wares life has to show
You can take them or leave them
They choose their own fare who say no
There's some ugly little dreams
For pretty girls to buy
It's enough to make you mad
But it's safer just to break down and cry
It's a battlefield Frances
You fight or concede
Victory to the enemy
Who call your strength insanity
What cahnce for such girls
How can we compete?
In a world that likes its women
Stupid and sweet
I bet you rue the day
The angels gave you your share
Of bright cornflower blue eyes
And golden hair
And there's a lot of ugly little dreams
For pretty girls to buy
It's enough to make you mad
But it's safer just to break down and cry
It's safer just to break down and cry
-Everything but the Girl
------------------
EBTG has been a band I've kept up with over the years. What created the interest was their dynamic sound, investment in many instruments, and the leads powerful vocals. What kept the interest was what the lyrics touched on - ethics and rights within relationships, political commentary, and largely on the human experience.
Looking information up on EBTG, I ran into their focuses on their debut album which was pretty much what I described above.
Ugly little dreams is about those who were shocked and upset by women with too many ideas.
It's about Frances Farmer in particular. That struck interest -- who is she I asked and wikied it. What I found proved interesting... Frances in her youth won a writing contest in 1931, for her religiously controversial essay. Later when she was attending university won over another writing contest for a leftist newpaper. (which was probably moderate compared to these days) this won her a trip to go visit the Soviet Union which her family fiercely objected to.
Frances began an acting career in the big screen pictures. She was very unhappy with her career as she was only given 'pretty girl' and damsel like roles, instead of ones where she could find a creative niche with her talents. It was a time when movie studios were very controlling of their actors and actresses lives. As a result she clashed a lot with the buecracy within Paramount Studios refusing to mold.
I can't continue to depict her as a struggling artist and put her up as a complete martyr of her times. The trouble she got in later was of her own accord, as she developed heavy drinking problems. Her little incident with the police was interesting though during war time when all lights were ordered for a black out period. She went rebeliously driving down the road with her brights on. Then there is breaking her make up artists jaw (I would have loved to have been present) . Yet her contrary views led "proffessionals" to diagnose her with bipolar disorder, for her seeking things outside of accepted culture.
I do like her story though and it winds down to a comment by Ray Bradbury. "a man runs when he sees anything of a mind in a woman." (rough quote, I have handicapped quoting skills as I am sure one of you can verify in other situations) Thankfully this quote doesn't ring so true anymore, almost minus certain communities where women are ordained to be baby cranking factories. Yet it did bring a smile to my face, it does sometimes touch home minus the gender references and added in particular family references.
"I bet you rue the day
The angels gave you your share
Of bright cornflower blue eyes
And golden hair"
is a very interesting couple of lines from the song, I think. It has something to say on what is expected of women when it comes to men and the crowds for that matter.
I've had many a friend who felt overwhelmed by trying to gain attentions of the opposite gender. Many friends who felt that her worth was contingent on her ability to be attractive, and to be worthwhile. To be charming and sucumbing to prevalent demands for a girl to be entertaining. Well dammit those things aren't just about being pleased or entertaining. I've seen too many girls who don't find enough esteem in themselves and become dependent on whatever kind of security a relation with a guy can give her. Though it's not just ungrounded and self insecured girls that cling to this.
However I feel the opposite is true. I feel there is an underculture of women who are obsessed with glamour, power and manipulation over partners. Yet they still cling to the demand to be a particular genre of charming and entertaining outside of standard (by standard I mean common things like courting flirting and means to relations and such, what I mean is the whole charming thing is getting overblown.)
Bottom line: we shouldn't be expected to be any more diplomatically and dynamically charming than what is natural, than what men are (not to say that men and the stake of natural are directly synonymous or opposing). It's not duty to be pretty attractive alpha vixens contrary to what pop culture is trying to tell us all. I'd love to see pop culture grow in insight for once...
And I could go on about how the teen to adult road is practically non existent and how we still have 37 year old men and women who are paranoid about their upkeep on trendiness, acting and wishing they could be as hip as they were when they were 18. Hey what about other things of worth? We just generating lifelong super hormone charged teenagers nowadays?
How cute. . .
Even in these modern times excessive prerequisites for a woman to even be considered as attractive are too heavy. Sorry we're not all about acting pretty, and believe me what a sad act it is. Sorry to say there is something more between the lines there. I realized a sad truth when joking around with my younger brother. "Derek, this is sooo sad, you could have a guy be really ugly, obese, or freakishly skinny, who is the funniest and fun person ever and he could get a lot of dates. But if you turn it around and it's a heavy girl, or a not so cute faced kind of girl and she's left with slim pickins. if not dying alone" "yup" and we both laughed.
Yet why is this true?
Watching a television makeover show I was taken aback by a couple. There was a well built man with what most women would claim as being handsome faced and a mousy faced bushy haired girl who wasn't very easy on the eyes as some would say. It was very odd to see this couple hand in hand. I was a little confused by the fact that I was confused. Yet it's not nearly that startling when you see a girl go with a guy that is far far from being the next runner up for male model of the year. I couldn't explain the confusion at first, but then I realized more and more that its a sick and unfair part of our culture.
I walked past as my dad was watching Miss Congeniality on t.v. (great movie !) one of the pagent officials stammered on to say "I've been fighting my whole career against people like you, feminists, intellectuals:: Ugly women!" Yes I appreciate the humor but this brings up the point again. They focus less on being pleasing creatures to men. In this case I am referencing ugly as being unattractive in manner or in appearance. This kind of ugly she probably means as women who don't choose to apply cosmetics as a daily routine. I see no immediate problem with makeup as I wear it and wear it for myself only but I really do give a salute to women who don't feel it's a necessity or a requirement. :)
Kudos to Ms. Farmer, especially in a time when it was much much worse and unequal.
Kudos to EBTG composed of two members - one female and one male who support this belief.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
yeah...
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a september kind of feel
It comes near this time of year. The air becomes heavy; thicker and almost scented as autumn closes in. In the front of my mind I hardly ever know what month it is anymore. School schedules would pound that in nicely, my theoretical secretary would get the memo by the second day. How else to explain it but that each month tumbles into the next? Maybe I might notice.
But September always stands out.
I'm hoping and praying I don't have a someone else's old bills hanging over my head. I don't know where to even begin on that one. As to where I live now-- my parents usually seem far away, buried under debt of their own that only seem to deepen around this time of year.
Dammit macs don't crash, my ass.
On a plus note I stumbled into a collaborative blog and music forum the other day, centered on intellectual and eclectic varieties in music. It's refreshing to see others take music to another level other than a base form of entertainment. I see it as something to be celebrated as artistic, as a meaningful form of communication, sect of life, and a unique way to delve straight into the heart of any matter. Anyone who knows me knows that I can talk music for hours and hours... and hours after that. I'm thrilled because I'm already getting references for musical artists and groups that I've never heard of before. *grin* Had to geek out on this one.
God, my head hurts...
Earlier my dad and brother were watching a programming about the most recent conflicts in the middle east and how it could spell World War III. I sat there crosslegged on the floor completely spellbound and all at once screaming inside to discredit everything and claim ignorance. There was a segment on what the key element of chemical warfare could do. . .
I was asked to take a stance in an essay on the bombings on Hiroshima in an old history class. Unethical was my take... To me, nukes are way too powerful to be used as a means in human conflict. Woo hoo you brought a whole nation to opt out with repetitive crotch kicking. Who can call that victory?
I'm still a little out of the loop when it comes to the everchanging scene of this Holy Land. Yet if I got a pop quiz on the subject it would be easy to sum it all up, suicide bombings, evacutions, death toll, religious intolerance merging into genocide (if not xenocide at this point).
This country's war sometimes brings me to hang my head. My stance on the war can only be described as a photo-finish, one footfall making all the difference. That's beside the point.
I only wish that more was being done other than steal the flag. We need more social programs within the borders, not just treaties and military support. How is such an ethnocentric tunnelvisioned country supposed to be so warm and receptive to "Western" ways? If we don't take the time to fully comprehend what issues the public there is conflicted over, military efforts there will be in vain. If we don't do our part to best illustrate why the dramatic reforms are taking place, why they aren't an attack against their culture and religion then they will have everyright to join the resistance movements.
We're a diverse country, what we need is American Muslims and Americans with middle Eastern backgrounds to aid the changes of life there. Programs which promote religious tolerance, programs that respect Islam, programs that aid families and communities with the tools they need, programs to help feed the hungry there, programs to help the country to build political awareness. They're not going to listen to and relate very well with a bunch of white guys in suits. Why should they listen to politicians who may visit now and then, who come to speak only written words, who are mainly appearing for their own countries? Pro war or Anti War people need to see that dramatic shifts are taking place in a very closeminded arena. You don't storm into the operation room in the middle of your husband's brain surgery and cease all medical action. The incisions have been made.
While some military support is needed because we started the whole thing and leaving now would be rape, there should be more focus on internal aid and social reform, not military enforcement.
There's my two cents. I need to sleep before my body self destructs.
But September always stands out.
I'm hoping and praying I don't have a someone else's old bills hanging over my head. I don't know where to even begin on that one. As to where I live now-- my parents usually seem far away, buried under debt of their own that only seem to deepen around this time of year.
Dammit macs don't crash, my ass.
On a plus note I stumbled into a collaborative blog and music forum the other day, centered on intellectual and eclectic varieties in music. It's refreshing to see others take music to another level other than a base form of entertainment. I see it as something to be celebrated as artistic, as a meaningful form of communication, sect of life, and a unique way to delve straight into the heart of any matter. Anyone who knows me knows that I can talk music for hours and hours... and hours after that. I'm thrilled because I'm already getting references for musical artists and groups that I've never heard of before. *grin* Had to geek out on this one.
God, my head hurts...
Earlier my dad and brother were watching a programming about the most recent conflicts in the middle east and how it could spell World War III. I sat there crosslegged on the floor completely spellbound and all at once screaming inside to discredit everything and claim ignorance. There was a segment on what the key element of chemical warfare could do. . .
I was asked to take a stance in an essay on the bombings on Hiroshima in an old history class. Unethical was my take... To me, nukes are way too powerful to be used as a means in human conflict. Woo hoo you brought a whole nation to opt out with repetitive crotch kicking. Who can call that victory?
I'm still a little out of the loop when it comes to the everchanging scene of this Holy Land. Yet if I got a pop quiz on the subject it would be easy to sum it all up, suicide bombings, evacutions, death toll, religious intolerance merging into genocide (if not xenocide at this point).
This country's war sometimes brings me to hang my head. My stance on the war can only be described as a photo-finish, one footfall making all the difference. That's beside the point.
I only wish that more was being done other than steal the flag. We need more social programs within the borders, not just treaties and military support. How is such an ethnocentric tunnelvisioned country supposed to be so warm and receptive to "Western" ways? If we don't take the time to fully comprehend what issues the public there is conflicted over, military efforts there will be in vain. If we don't do our part to best illustrate why the dramatic reforms are taking place, why they aren't an attack against their culture and religion then they will have everyright to join the resistance movements.
We're a diverse country, what we need is American Muslims and Americans with middle Eastern backgrounds to aid the changes of life there. Programs which promote religious tolerance, programs that respect Islam, programs that aid families and communities with the tools they need, programs to help feed the hungry there, programs to help the country to build political awareness. They're not going to listen to and relate very well with a bunch of white guys in suits. Why should they listen to politicians who may visit now and then, who come to speak only written words, who are mainly appearing for their own countries? Pro war or Anti War people need to see that dramatic shifts are taking place in a very closeminded arena. You don't storm into the operation room in the middle of your husband's brain surgery and cease all medical action. The incisions have been made.
While some military support is needed because we started the whole thing and leaving now would be rape, there should be more focus on internal aid and social reform, not military enforcement.
There's my two cents. I need to sleep before my body self destructs.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
come again?
"When a baby is born it is interesting to see the nature upon which it acts, which is inherently self centred and therefore sinful. The only thing that matters to a baby is it's own needs and desires, it is it's own god. But I do also believe in a babies innocence due to it's ignorance of it's own sinful nature. The key idea is that sin is a part of our nature from birth, thus a part of us and our makeup, permeating every one of the components mentioned above. Our mission is to turn our nature around, to "no longer conform to the pattern of this world" and to reflect Christ by working to change our character, not separate parts of it.
If we accept that we are inherently evil and need a complete renewal, rather than thinking we are actually perfect with a bit of excess bad bagagge, only then can we truly work to change.
The only value I see in separating the sin from the sinner is that it becomes easier for us to love all people."
-- http://www.sciforums.com/archive/index.php/t-2390.html
Meaning???
I recognize that this is from an independent religious forum, so I will be gentle. (yeah what's with the sci in the url?)
Inherently evil? I vouch that we have equal capacities for good and bad.
I do not understand the Christian doctrine of being born into sin. All I can sense from a newborn child is hope and innocence amidst the child's so called ignorance. What a beautiful stage of life, who can disagree?
If we accept that we are inherently evil and need a complete renewal, rather than thinking we are actually perfect with a bit of excess bad bagagge, only then can we truly work to change.
The only value I see in separating the sin from the sinner is that it becomes easier for us to love all people."
-- http://www.sciforums.com/archive/index.php/t-2390.html
Meaning???
I recognize that this is from an independent religious forum, so I will be gentle. (yeah what's with the sci in the url?)
Inherently evil? I vouch that we have equal capacities for good and bad.
I do not understand the Christian doctrine of being born into sin. All I can sense from a newborn child is hope and innocence amidst the child's so called ignorance. What a beautiful stage of life, who can disagree?
Friday, September 01, 2006
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