"Hold onto to nothing as fast as you can"

Not overworrying, it’s more like over thinking. I classify and reclassify. I blink I breathe. I act on such a small scale.

Yes, call me a schizo, Cause Tori Amos is my confidant, cause music is my consolation. I’m not even speaking, there’s only music in response.


To trying too hard-

"Been looking for a savior in these dirty streets, I’ve been looking for a savior beneath these dirty sheets, been raising up my hands, drive another nail in, got enough guilt to start my own religion

Why do we
Crucify ourselves
Everyday
Nothing I do is good enough"

To my feelings of wanting to disconnect now and then. For stillness to return to my head for one moment.

"So I ran faster but it caught me here
yes my loyalties turned like my ankle
in the seventh grade
running after Billy, running after the rain.

These precious things let them bleed
Let them wash away these precious things
Let them brake their hold on me"

To melancholy in itself.

"The smart money is all hollow.
The moon is in the street.
The shadow boys are out
breaking all the laws.

You’re east of anything west
and the rain is making speeches
and the rain sounds like a round of applause.

Napoleon is weeping in a cornerless room
his invisible fiancee is in the mirror
The band is going home, it’s raining
hammers, it’s raining nails

It’s true theres nothing left

They all pretend they’re orphans.
And their memory is like a train
You can see it getting smaller as it pulls away
The things you can’t remember...
Tell the things you can’t forget."

To childhood

"and through the walls they made their mudpies
I’ve got your mind I said
she said I got your voice I said
you don’t need my voice girl
you have your own but you never thought it was
enough of. So they went years and years like
sisters. Blanket girls. Always there through this and that
there’s nothing we cannot ever fix I said

Bells and footfalls and soliders and dolls
She and I were now.

Can’t stop what’s coming
Can’t stop what’s on it’s way.

And now I speak to you are you in there you have her hace and her eyes but you are not her and we fot at each other like blank ettes who can’t find their thread and their bare.

Can’t stop loving. Can’t stop what is on its way and I see it coming it’s on it’s way."

She doesn’t give me answers. I’m thinking in questions, she answers in two part harmony.
There are no answers. Only choices that solve and unsolve...