Sunday, December 09, 2007
It's been a while. Times have changed, and we have right along with them.
I will always remember you, the first person who taught me how to think and reason. You made it evident in your actions that things could be made different. That compassion and hope must be outside religion first. No matter what the situation were came to quick defense of the ones you loved. Ready to defend what people deserved. You still remind me of a lionness.
I've learned how complex interpretation can be. I've learned how sometimes certain actions represent pieces to a situation a person is facing, and people become not people so much as symbols.
You were always a go getter, when we were younger you asked me not to let you drown yourself in work again, it happens when you get upset. So when I saw it happening again, through what others were saying who still knew you I asked you to stay open, let people in still. Maybe you wanted to defend it. Maybe it was too strong of a message from someone you were straining to stay in touch with.
I accept that our lives are apart, and have been for years. I would try to contact you again, but I have to prove I don't need to be proved to you, even if its an invisible thing. The difference is, I know how to do these things by myself now.
I see glimpses of you in the people I meet. In difficult situations I sometimes recall what you've said, use as a sort of distant advice. The passion you had for life is still a source of inspiration to me, and I still use it as a fuel.
I miss that friendship. But here we are in the middle of forging lives for ourselves, the time period where now no one has time, keeping in touch is a chore, and it's a little late for repairs.
I just want to say I understand, or at least come closer to, the complexity.
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