to not remember

I managed to jump into a conversation the other day. I accidentally laughed out loud when a real estaste agent on the bus told the man across from him. An officer gave him a dui while riding a horse. He talked a bit about the court and the legal trouble. Whether it's true or not, it still has a lot of humor.

I talked a little to the old man who sat across from the real estate guy after he got off. This man was very eloquently spoken and cheerful. We talked a bit about busing and the driving population.

He mentioned an accident he was in and went on to the next thing. I stopped asked him a little about it. The details don't matter so much when you can't get them straight so I won't try to remember specifics and write them. On I 15, go figure, he got rearended by some guy going 80 or something. The car frame got all mangled, the drivers seat hit him in the back of the head. No one bothered to look for a body given the condition of the car and how it also looked empty. The tow truck man found him hours after it all. I really admired how this man could talk about it like he did, impartially summarized it all while treating it as real but without pity.

He said he lost a lot of memories. "It's just the little things that went missing, is all. There's just enough gone for me to notice." I think that's the only time he stopped from smiling.

I think I'm going to start a new notebook or something. Jot down every basic memory possible like empty road outside a window or a park from childhood. I can't imagine what it's like to lose large resources of memory. It's uniquely yours no one can ever restore it completely if something happens so that you lose some of it or time erases it. It's an idea at least.