whats been taken

they beat at
dead bloody horses
stolen even skies
and buried them
like our dead.

it never was enough,
mining out the souls
with the stones.
no one spoke to
the shovels we took up
at our shoulders
where the cold collected.

perhaps the rivers would open
or the wounds would never
transfer into speech.

or maybe

it's just the weather.
the time of year
where everyone
keeps the memory
like salt next to pepper
so ready to forget.

maybe not so meant to be.

I work at homes with people who have special needs. I love this job, but I am still struggling with my manager. She is very unstable.

I am thinking about transferring to a new house, until I get more familiar with this line of work.

in your frame

I could only

sketch something with a face.
your comfort was in
making lines, structure.

you liked buildings and their
corners.

and you were so quiet. ( I connect with that)
you had your high walls, those doors.
I thought about you

penciled in small
in my yesterday,
and me swollen there
not understanding.

forwarding

Edibiri -
the pages were all
you could ever know.
more than those four walls.
Rebecca-
the world will not move
while kept home in your fist
remove the vice,
it swells.
Smith
The seat is hard.
Questions.
that building- rat races aren't remembered,
only expected. faster now. they might not be
looking.
Jeanette(mom)- you may never know
sometimes we overlap
the difference.
The word I use is
equal.

***
This is to several people. This is something I needed to let go of their disapproval, when I have given it my all.

manager's neurotic

Out of all the ladies in that home, I love Norma the most. She is gentle, and always quiet. i watch her alot, as she sits, seemingly blank, wondering what little things fill her head. Had she been born like the rest of us, she would have been beautiful. She has a small frame with dark thick lashes, and dark blue eyes that are beginning to go blind.

I am trying to get her to be more curious about the world around her. I put blocks in her hands. When we go to stores, I have her touch things, feathers, cloth, boxes. I want to teach her sign language as has been requested in her goal book.

Her pony tail came undone today. As I was fixing it the light caught her hair that had filtered through the shades. All of the gray became silver, like light even.

Norma picks up on when someone around her is upset. She will rub a persons back when she sees that, but only then.

Later on I was thinking about how I may have to leave this house, because of my manager who gets worse with everyday. I was so optimistic about this job, and thinking about the recent turn of events with it made me sadder than I can describe. She touched my back then and rubbed the back of my head.

I was very touched by it.

I hope so much that things will smooth over with the house manager there...

fishers!

I had to mention here that I finally got to go to the aquarium that opened a few years ago.

Damn! It was amazing.



I got to pet manta rays, which made me jerk and squirm at first. they look like they are going to have an exoskeleton or something, but they are slimy and squishy. I have to add that jelly fish are so graceful.

I want to go scuba diving at least once in the coral reefs, there are so many colors.